| | Why do I insist on doing this to myself? To giving those that hurt me a second chance, hoping they won't hurt me again but knowing in the back of my mind that I will always be hurt in the end.
I broke up with Gian a second time.
And I do not want to let him back in again. It's true he has once held the key to my heart, but I have changed the lock.
Short version of what happened: I'm going through hell right now because of various reasons, and instead of being concerned he got upset and was being selfish because I didn't feel like talking when he wanted. He wasn't getting what he wanted when he wanted it and behaved like a spoiled child instead of worrying over the one he loved knowing she was in a weakened state.
So after a night of ignoring his calls and refusing to him I apologized for being angry but said that I can't keep doing this anymore, this constant fighting over things like this, and he said then there was nothing he could do and I said that's it then and now it's over.
My parents and brother are worried about me. They are disappointed with him, they really liked him and he let their beloved daughter down. They are focused on my wellbeing for me because I don't have time to worry about myself, and they are helping me learn how to take care of myself again.
If I didn't have them and my few friends that I have left, I don't know what I would do.
The good news is that the old me, the one that is cold and pushes people away for my own protection has returned. I will not let this happen to me again.
My mental scars now outnumber my physical ones.
I never thought that would happen.
Ja ne.
Haru
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| | Posted 5/2/2007 2:58 PM - 7 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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